Starting a new job makes us feel like a new kid on the first day of school: nerve-wracking, still dreaming of adapting and making a positive impression.
The social sector is an important part of every job. Research shows that building a camaraderie with staff and having conversations with supervisors can promote good living and good health. And the first 90 days are important: A 2013 study found that new employees are more likely to receive support during this period.
Michael Woodward, a workplace psychologist known as Dr. Woody. "The stronger the support system around you, the more likely you are to feel comfortable, confident and able to succeed."
Going there, however, usually means you are in the midst of writing questions for all these new people in your life. These are likely to range from a professional to an appropriate person, including inquiries about your age, relationship status, work history and social norms.
Instead of stumbling over your own words, here's how to answer these many dangerous questions confidently.
& # 39; How do you feel about this and anything? & # 39;
Workplace harassment is popular, Dr. Woodward said, as well as the desire to be part of a team. In a new work environment, this combination can be detrimental if you happen to be known to your colleagues as bad and time-consuming.
While complaining about co-workers can turn some of your friends into friends, Jill Jacinto, an industry expert, says it's best to avoid gossip.
If someone asks, & # 39; What do you think of Mark? Still working with him? Just focus on the profession, she said. “He is a good man to work with. He seems to be well versed in technology. ”
While your answer should be professional, you should also be honest, says Maggie Mistal, a career and executive director.
"If you overdose or hide sugar, people should also read that," she said. "You want to err on the side of kindness or give someone else the benefit of the doubt."
Instead of announcing the frustration shared by their friends, Ms. Mistal suggests re-evaluating stigma. For example, you might say, "I think she's as skilled and does the job as she thinks it needs to be done."
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& # 39; Do you want to join us at the happy hour? & # 39;
Discussion on lunch hours or after hours of joy is a good way to get to know your friends and any looga study environmental science.
"These invitations are inevitable," Ms. Jacinto said. "Even though you are tired after the first week, you want to make sure you get to the same things and get to know your co-workers."
Keep the conversation simple, Ms. Jacinto said; pop culture, weekend plans and the best lunch spots are safe topics. However, feel free to ask your new friends about their roles, responsibilities and company history, as long as you allow your friends to have a conversation.
If you do not drink alcohol, experts suggest you make an effort to participate in any way, if that is something you are comfortable with. Use it as an opportunity to let your new partners know that you would rather learn about coffee instead of joining in the future – if you are happy to disclose that information, Ms. Jacinto said.
& # 39; Do you see anyone? & # 39;
The questions about relationship status can be difficult to understand because you do not know the purpose of the inquiry, Mistal said.
Do a background check by asking another question to answer, she said. This can be a lock-and-roll, like, "Why do you know someone?" Or "You?"
She said "You take nothing away from yourself, and you bring them back to them," she said. "But you understand & # 39; why & # 39; before you answer."
The question line can quickly lead you to even more personal landmarks: Do you plan to get married? Why or why not? Even if you feel your lifestyle is being criticized, this is the best Do not get defensive and with respect looga answer, she said founder Sherry Sims Online Black Women's Health Care, supporting the professional development of women and African Americans.
"We have to remember, when we want to work in different environments or want to be inclusive, it means that you respect diversity and respect that," she said.
While you do not need to defend your choices, simply by saying that you prefer not to discuss personal issues in the workplace you will effectively communicate to your colleagues that you do not discuss this topic again, Ms. Sims said. If you're not happy, you can offer compliments like, "I see you're a parent and I'm sure this is a wonderful experience for you."
& # 39; When did you graduate? & # 39;
Asking when someone graduated from college in the form of deceit and looga stop experience – and a & # 39 ;. While it is illegal for an interviewer to ask a candidate during her age, some friends – especially those who are young, Ms Sims said – may forget their culture and they ask each other.
If that happens to you, you can play to your advantage. Finding a way to make the strategic timestamp looga work is an effective way to relieve your hand experiences show, said Amy Cooper Hakim, industry psychologist and workplace expert.
Dr. Hakim said she did this when others made comments that showed a decline in her experience.
I'm in my 40s and people think I'm too young, "she said. If you go through your experience & # 39; s, she finds that linking the context to work is practical, saying, "When I was in office 15 years ago …
She added: "It seems like a little bit of confidence."
Of course, allowing your actions, achievements and work ethic to devote themselves builds trust in words alone, says Dr. Hakim.
& # 39; Are you on social media? & # 39;
Social media tools have emerged in the workplace and have become an important network and professional development tool for many careers. According to a 2014 Pew Research Center survey, more workers are linking their online relationships to job goals: 24 percent of employees use social media to make professional connections, and 17 percent use social media to strengthen their personal relationships. with staff and an additional 17 percent. turn to social media to learn about the people they work with.
However, some personal updates you share with your closest friends on Facebook may not be appropriate for the office. Because of this, Dr. Woodward suggests you politely suggest your friends connect with you instead of LinkedIn, a site for professional contacts.
If you run a creative product, and Instagram handles exchanging phone numbers, it can be difficult to handle requests from your friends, Ms. Jacinto said. Make sure your feeds are user-friendly, because you never know when your Twitter followers will contribute much to their future.
She says, "It looks like they see you in this soft, personal light and you get to know your interests or other jobs that they don't know," she said, "this gives you a very different opportunity to learn about you and maybe you. Can recommend it to a friend.
At the end of the day, think of your big picture, Ms. Sims said, and professional relationships are important.
She said "the best thing you can do is be who you are and show your talent," she said. It is very smart when it comes to workplace relationships, but you have to make sure you build them.