Reuniting and “not just waiting and settling down, but really trying to better understand the problem” is important because it will help you deal with your situation, Dr. Bastin said.
How many complaints are best for you? How long & # 39; s like a rope? You want to avoid what Dr. Grice calls them wearing "stained glass", where no matter what is going on you always find something to complain about. The same problem also means talking about more and more, whether friends or echo chamber-room Internet.
And finally, Dr. Bastin said, "Emotional expression is important," but "the way you express it" is what determines whether the interaction has a positive or negative effect, not just on the complainant but also on the listener.
The right way to do it
"Complaints are honestly part of the fabric of our community, our lives, it's part of how we communicate," Dr. Kowalski said. As with any form of communication, there is the right place and time.
Start by paying attention to how often you make a complaint, and who you are dealing with. "You can't change behavior until you know it," Dr. Kowalski said.
While trying to go cold turkey is probably for extreme purposes, "attention has been shown to be effective in reducing rumors," Dr. Bastin said. Even the act of paying attention to our habits can begin to change them. If you hate before you call a friend to leave, or think quickly if you really need to act on your feelings to complain, you will be more thoughtful about your behavior and will be able to make choices about it. proper.
Ms. Gilbertson said: "It's important, if you're going out, that you know you're driving and telling the person you're driving," If you just want to blow up steam or you really need help solving the problem, it makes the person you want to exchange. is available to release your comfort, and will be better prepared to give you the support you need.