When you look at the news these days, it is hard not to be discouraged – and even for some people it is difficult, depending on genetics and socioeconomic status.
By fighting the interior of Eeyore can have a huge impact. Research suggests that prospects earn more money, have better relationships and even live longer. The saying is: Hope can be learned from good.
"Pessimism" is one of the more advanced personality traits, but it can also be replaced by specific exercises, "said Martin Seligman, director of the Center for Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and author of The Circuit. Hope ”.
In other words, you can blame your parents for your negative attitude, but you don't have to resign yourself ever. Here are four ways to get started on the sunny side of the road.
See yourself as best you can
Imagine your dream life in 10 years – what would it look like? How would you feel? Sit down now and write about: once a week, six to eight minutes, one or two months. Spend any time focusing on “keeping yourself as good as possible” in one go, such as family, work, love or health.
While it may seem like a hopeful thought, Dozens of studies have shown that measuring your better future can actually raise your prospects.
Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside and author of "How Happening," has worked on hundreds of subjects. It works, she said, because you strengthen your "hopeful muscles" by "thinking all your dreams come true as opposed to worrying about the worst possible outcome."
Accept the hopelessness of disappointment
Always expecting the worst? According to Laura Oliff, associate director of the American Institute of Psychiatry, you may be hoping to protect yourself from depression.
But in trying to protect yourself from the ups and downs of life, you need other things, too: "a positive expectation of events", which Dr. Oliff called it a "very valuable feeling" and a "joy". (For clarity, just think of the joy of expecting a vacation.)
According to Dr. Oliff pointed out, "You'll be disappointed sometimes no matter what." So if your choice is between positive expectations that are sometimes proven wrong or wrong expectations that are sometimes justified, you can also go with the former.
While mental change is as simple as defining what to do, Dr. Oliff says it can help to remember "a lot of bad things we predict will never happen" – and that, even when they do, we usually recover quickly.
Then your co-worker got the promotion you were looking for. And your mind is full of thoughts like: I'm not poor at my job. The staircase will not go up. I might as well stop now.
When you get into this sad situation, Dr. Seligman says the trick is to first recognize the voice of those negative remarks, then argue as "someone whose outward life goals make you sad."
How do you advocate for your nemesis? You presents evidence to prove that they are wrong, as I have no job – workers have been here for two years more than I was. Or: I will eventually be promoted – another position is opening soon.
Putting this type of habitual debate requires little training. Dr. Seligman says. But on the other hand, it's not really complicated and complicated. It's something that most people can get within days. "
Make things look great
Another way to strengthen evidence-based depression is to deliberately prevent the looga extreme projections of the very best. This will enable you to get to the middle of the road – or, as Dr. Seligman said, to "put things in order."
Let's say you have a battle role to share with your partner. She leaves the house, knocking on the door. If you like more human beings, Dr. Seligman says that will naturally draw you to "the definition of the greatest tragedy": This is the end, I'm not a lover, I will die alone.
As a precaution, think of the smallest tragedy, too: Your partner keeps going home with a cream container and will never report the conflict again.
Between the two sticks is where you will find the sweet spot – the true translation. It could be: She'll be back in a few hours, I'll talk, she'll be back tomorrow and she'll be back to normal. While not as good as the ice cream look, this look is much better (and more delicate) than the strong one you started with.
By constantly practicing the first two strategies – discussing yourself and putting things together – Dr. Seligman said you can make changes to that.
"This is not a wheelchair product," he said. "These are the products that have been tested by thousands of people." Over time, he said these exercises can produce lasting results that "basically change negative thoughts and make them less important."
That sounds like something to look forward to.