How to Increase a Child Against Racism

When the kids at the Roblox playground were darkening their skin color to support Black Lives Matter, 12-year-old Garvey Mortley decided to talk. She created a video that explains the history of the attack called & # 39; blackface & # 39 ;, and presented the audience with appropriate ways to express support.

"Transforming your skin into a dark color Roblox or any game will essentially paint your face into beautiful shoes," she explained in the video. "It's like you're wearing a black suit." The best way to show solidarity alone, she suggests, depends on the nature of the Black Lives Matter T-shirt.

She was one step away from racism, based on lessons she learned at home. Her mother, Amber Coleman-Mortley, is an iCivics community engagement manager, is an & # 39; ad founded by Justice Sandra Day O & # 39; Connor to advance civic education through games and digital resources. Ms. Coleman-Mortley accompanied her daughters and her mother to the March 2017 Women's Day event in Washington and created video clips for her children during the quarantine. Even the conversation about their favorite song ("Cardi B is the greatest ever!") Was an opportunity to talk about great things, such as poetry and civil rights activist Audre Lorde or Oprah.

People are many and think, & # 39; I can't fix that. I'm one person, ”said Ms. Coleman-Mortley, author of social justice on her website, MomofAllCapes. "But there are areas where we can tackle racism in our lives – even if you live in the same community, you can speak out and attack racism."

We are all in a global social learning lesson right now, and we should not go out on the streets to take small steps to change ourselves and raise children in the social, racist, join the PTA, go to school board meetings , learn more about the curriculum. Ask for history lessons about race. Increase your child's education in books and documents, and don't be shy about race discussions.

When Coleman-Mortley says "When the child says & # 39; that child is Black or Asian, & # 39; I think a lot of white parents happen to have their children. You don't want to chase your child. It creates a negative impression on the mind." that child, and they think, & # 39; Wait, something is wrong with brown skin & # 39; Say, & # 39; Great. Let's meet this child. What else have you learned from them? & # 39;

Ibram X. Kendi, author of the best-selling book & # 39; & # 39; How to Become an Antiracist & # 39; & # 39 ;, has put out a reading list and calls it "the staircase of action against racism." It's not enough to say "it's not racist," he says, because it's a claim that "implies impartiality."

Dr. Kendi, co-founder of the Center for Conflict and Policy Research at the American University, said "Those who try to be racist know that they do not recognize them." "It is something they are striving to be, making sure every moment they are presenting racist ideas and policies."

Credit …PenguinRandomHouse

Dr. Kendi recently published a children's book, "Antiracist Baby." The book, written in rhythm, presents nine steps, including the vision of skin color, celebrating diversity and growing up to be an antiracist. “Parents use books to teach them about love or compassion or a little tricks. Why don't you do the same to teach our children to be racist, ”Dr said. Kendi. He noted that people who are not comfortable talking about ethnicity often come from homes where it is not a topic to discuss.

"Our parents did not want to talk to us about the construction environment," he said. "We didn't even learn to start having those conversations because our parents trained us in advance that this is something you haven't talked about." There is a circle. ”

The conversation about competition has had a big impact on Winona Guo, who is currently a undergraduate at Harvard University, and Priya Vulchi, who teaches at Princeton. They remember in a deceptive way other than naked forms of discrimination that affected their self-image as children and made them feel inferior. Ms. Vulchi, an American-American Indian, was told to drain your skin. Ms. Guo remembers being called to a game day with a classmate who responded, "I don't play with Chinese girls."

The first time they remember a conversation about high school citizenship, New Jersey, was in the 10th grade, when a teacher started talking. the death of Eric Garner in 2014. The conversation inspired them to take a gap year traveling to all 50 states to talk to people about racial issues, which became a book, “Tell Me Who You Are: Sharing Our Race, Culture & Identity. "The two men also launched a # 39; charity called Select, and a book, educational guide and workbook used by hundreds of educators across the country.

Credit …PenguinRandomHouse

"Schools are important because they enable us to reach every child, including white students who have been wrongly taught that race does not affect their lives," Ms. Guo said. Read

Never once said Vulchi: "Don't use racism as a thing outside of the curriculum, but make it an important part of life – no matter what job you choose," Ms. Vulchi. "Art, code, politics, statistics – all of this can be applied to racist work every day."

Parents can start a conversation about race in books, documents or even movies like "Black Panther" or "Crazy Rich Asians," two box office hits. it proved the power of diversity in the making of the film.

Julie Lythcott-Haims, whose books include "Real American," a memoir about her life as a black woman and a racist in most white areas. Do not ask leading questions. Let the children fill the space with their ideas. They are not even able to identify the tribe. So tell them why it is different for you. At the end of the movie, that's where you show your values. ”

Parents living in equity communities may find ways to make their children very different in life. "Who are your pediatricians, dentists and pharmacists and music educators and educators?" said Traci Baxley, a trainer and instructor who offers courses on Instagram and her website,

Dr. Baxley, associate professor of multicultural education program at Florida Atlantic University, said. "I always hear moms tell me & # 39; my whole area is white. & # 39; Then you may have to drive an extra 20 minutes to see a black dentist or a little farther to go to the other store. If you are serious about culture, it can take a little effort.

The common mistake some parents make is to say "they don't see color" and want to raise their children to be "color-conscious."

Ms. Lythcott-Haims, a former corporate lawyer and Stanford dean, said: "To say that, my color should say & # 39; I have the privilege to never worry about color, & # 39; The correct way is to recognize that humans come in innumerable types of color and hair and eye and nose shape and lips and height and weight. to teach our children that diversity is not good. ”

Join me on Wednesday, June 24, at 8 p.m. Eastern time to talk with Amber Coleman-Mortley about how to raise a socially conscious, racist child. R.S.V.P. here.