I heard the teacher’s course today, the relationship in the eyes of the consultant, a little touch, and recorded the teacher’s words.
If you can’t forgive each other, say you still want to get something from him. How to interpret objective facts is very knowledgeable. It is my subjective interpretation and the meaning given to us that we are suffering, tightly grasping an expectation, expecting the other party to change, expecting the other party to pay off debts, and have been sad and expectant in such a wait.
Forgiveness is not to allow the other person to do such a thing to us, but to really let go of the expectation of the other party and the debt that you want to ask for.
Just make a decision at that moment, saying that the account is clear, because at this moment I am already a rich person, and my richness comes from my love for myself, of course I am at the behavior level. Do not allow others to hurt me.
You don’t want to forgive, asking someone who has violated you to give you something that he doesn’t want to give you, or that you want someone to give you something he wouldn’t have.
Even if you only ask the other person to admit that he has made a mistake, this is equivalent to tying you with him and ruining your boundaries.
If someone else’s actions or actions have a big impact on you, and you have reacted, maybe you have a boundary problem, that is, if someone said something, or did What can cause a lot of damage to you, he actually controlled you at that time, and your boundaries disappeared.
Reminiscent of myself, I don’t think I don’t want to forgive or forgive, but If you think about it, I still feel that I have been let down. I still have expectations in my heart, I look forward to the change of the other side, and I look forward to intimacy.
I am also rethinking. The intimacy I want is to share the world, to be a soul mate. Is it just my ideal? In fact, the other person may be just a figurative. In fact, he can’t do it. Actually, he is Things that won’t be there at all.
Then I reflect, can I retreat to the next and ask for a slap in the face, is it still that I want the other person to give something that he does not want to give, he is not not, he is not without, But he doesn’t want to give it to you. He can give it to others, but he doesn’t want to give it to you. Then there is no point in insisting, just like the teacher said, you can make a decision and the debt is cleared.