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I wasn't well. Today I tell you, me
I know you are looking for more inspirational stories online. That's fine. Feel free to read anything else. I design it for myself, as a kind of digital diary. It is not meant as a cry for help, because I get help in small ways. But I needed to write this down for a recording of what it is now, my life in Brooklyn today after months of dealing with depression, anxiety, and loneliness.
While we can all respond to the current crisis in our own ways, I wanted to share my experiences and thoughts.
First of all, let me say, I'm physically healthy now. But this crisis is upsetting my already weak mental health. I do not know if I have been infected with the virus (I did not ask for a diagnosis, and I am still confused about how / where I may or may need to be educated), but in the last few days like so many of my friends, I have been in a state of isolation. -given and take care of myself and others.
I know we are all in a beautiful place right now
now. Every day is a new challenge. Our society is changing hour by hour. And
while doing my part to participate in social isolation and isolation,
this crisis has exacerbated many problems that I have already been struggling for months
For the past 6 months, I have been dealing with depression, stress and loneliness. And, fortunately, only a few weeks in the past, I finally started to get a little head do not make good changes in my life. But all of this will happen within days. It is difficult to understand the depression during this quarantine crisis.
My therapist already had it literally
they advised me to make new friends, meet people, and live in social issues
activities. Going out and being busy was my mind. And I was doing it. I was
even start traveling to work again (and it is actually a form of enjoyment
Obviously, that's changed everything. And I am a loser for what to do next.
I understood. I know my problems are my own, so please know that I am part of it to help with the great good. But go & # 39; the boat, with no physical contact, no shelter near the place – will have an amazing effect on my life. You already have it. And probably many others in the same vulnerable regions, too.
While many people are now strong and sharing messages of hope, I can't help but be afraid. I am afraid of a future I do not know, fearing how I will do it. I am afraid of how I can cope with this new situation (even if temporary). Sorry if I'm sad, but not good.
Loneliness will be hard for me. But that's not all.
This crisis has completely lifted my entire business. Everyone who works in tourism (millions of people) has been affected, as in most industries. Bars, restaurants, leisure facilities – now, we all know this has been affected. There have been some downsides and more will remain.
So many friends and colleagues are unable to work because of the closures, unable to pay bills because they cannot work. Some are trapped outside, away from their loved ones, confused and unable to find peace at home.
Myself, travel writer, marketing, and yes, a marketer – I lost just a source of income. Projects were either canceled or unreasonably delayed. I do not have much hope that they will return this year.
I know there are heroes still working in the health industry and our service to keep our cities and our community as it is. And I honestly try not to focus on my work in tourism, but it is also really hard for myself to see a future of any kind.
For me as an independent self-employed person who makes my money on various travel companies or independent writing ships, this crisis completely destroys my & # 39; s income.
Not only is it a lot of my next job, but my average income from advertising and running this site has dropped by 80%. Imagine 80% of your salary? That's what I see today, with little hope of getting enough money in the next few weeks or months to pay my rent and bills.
Even if the travel industry returns 1 month, 3 months, 6 months (who knows ?!), all this time / money will be wasted.
Here's a useful face about the state of the travel blog industry (click to get the full thread):
I know we have to be hopeful and supportive to keep our community moving forward in this new situation. But honestly, I’m struggling right now. I think a lot of us are. Like many others in my generation, I do not have enough savings and a very low income coming up, to deal with this situation. I have no idea what will happen next.
I was scared and still sad. I'm worried and I'm still lonely. Suddenly, I am extra lonely while my roommate isolates herself in the city.
I try my best to see the reality; and that is why I am writing these words with the intention of really publishing them. It is difficult for me to write words. Two weeks ago I'm optimistic about my future, and I'm very happy to be here. Then as things go up, my life, my life, my emotions – it all collapses.
I had enough to remember the financial crisis of 2008. I was just missing out on college. Although I was fortunate enough to survive that decline, it impacted my life. (More on that later.)
That experience is still new to my memory, and it's hard to see at this point all the time. As a result of this decline, life was much more difficult then. But I was also young then so desperate and desperate.
Today, with all the other events happening in my personal life, I feel a little depressed and desperate. It's not just me getting hurt now, it's a lot of people close to me.
I’m scared and scared. This virus and all that it has to do with our economy, our community. I know we try not to be scared, but for me it is. I admit I'm not good at admitting that, and hopefully I'll start to focus again on things that will help.
Asking for help has become a popular characteristic of myself, and I have taken many more now, too. Today, I'm not asking for your help unless you listen to me, my concerns, and acknowledge my dangerous position. As the world changes, let us all please try to be safe and spread compassion and friendship where and when we can.
I have a lot more to share in the next few weeks, and I will do my best to do my best. Thanks for following, always.